


Mirror Mirror (Twisted Glass)

by Enigmatree



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: And He Is The Sole Member Of Longbottom House, BAMF Harry, BAMF Main Characters Really, But Not Everything Because He's Not Stupid, Dark Harry, Dark Lord Harry, Dark everyone, Dark parody, Draco Has Multiple Personality Disorder, Even If She Must Blow People Up For That, Everyone is Crazy, Gen, Gin(ny) Hates Being Girly, Harry And His 'Friends' Take Some Inspiration From Voldie, Hermione Won't Let Her Loved Ones Get Hurt, Imagine Poor Wormtail, Neville The Herbology Genius, Ron Collects Transfigured People, Twisted Parody, Wonder Why?, World Obeys Luna's Beliefs, harry is a sociopath
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-28 20:36:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8462122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enigmatree/pseuds/Enigmatree
Summary: In one world, Magic has a weird way of helping Her chosen to get through their trials easier. Sometimes, She doesn't give luck to heros; She gives enjoyment. She gives a twist.  She lets them fester their genius outside of the accepted bounds of society.
In which Harry conquered Privet Drive and wants a challenge, Ron is looking for unusual 'animals' for his room-zoo, Hermione will finally get friends, Neville just wants someone to see his worth *honestly*, Draco will declare his independance, Ginny doesn't like her name and Luna just doesn't understand why people don't learn their lesson.





	

**Author's Note:**

> New fandom, new fiction. Note that this is just the prologue and the future chapters will be much longer than this one. Please tell me if you're intrested in seeing it's continuation. I'm very invested in another fandom, not sure of this one.  
> Hope you enjoy!

At eleven-years-old, Harry left for Diagon Alley with Hagrid.

He left behind a few half-dead cats and a fully-dead dog.

He left behind a bunch of overenthusiastic... followers?

He left behind the grave and useless memories of his "family" head. ( _Let his twisted soul never rest in hell_.)

He left behind his aunt; Petunia, the shattered and broken woman she was and Dudley the errand boy.

He left behind the mockery of a normalcy his life had been for the truth underneath.

And he grinned as he let himself glide through the magical entrance to Diagon Alley as his home stopped being Muggle London and became The Wizarding World.

He would take it by a storm, just like he had done to the once normal Privet Drive.

 

****

* * *

  


Ron was nice at Care of Magical Creatures, Flying and DADA, though his best would-be-Hogwarts-subject was Transfiguration. However, this did not matter in such a big household as his.

Ron was a collector. He was proud of it; since what really was hard to have were specific hobbies, especially ones involving a lot of treasure and belongings, when one had six siblings.

Ron collected animals. He already had an owl, three fish, two rabbits, five small birds and one otter, also a single green serpent was kept hidden under his bed from mom.

Ron, however, liked one specific rat the best. One lazy, useless, stupid rat. No, not because of its current character, not at all.

Ron liked the rat because, before, the slow rat had been a hard-working, friendly and very perceptive rat; much unlike real rats.

Ron had proudly set that mistake right.

So basically, Ron was a normal if slightly too young pet collector who liked his pets to be _'in character'_.

And, Ron obviously knew, it made no difference even if his one-room-zoo would become a one-room-prison with just one wide-range _Finite_ _Incantatem_.

 

* * *

**  
**

"DamnmomDamnherDamnherDamnher..." Ginevra chanted as she wrote furiously in the leather bound diary in front of her.

As always, Gin wrote and wrote and the more she wrote the more she hated. She threw the (secret) blood quill but then took it back because she needed to feel as herself again.

Damn mom for making her cook. Damn mom for subtly forcing her to admire some stupid famous kid. Damn mom for making her a _girl_.

How she wished she had someone who would listen.

Listen to her real accomplishments, listen to her real complaints, listen to her actual _hobbies_ (though irked they may become) and not judge.

Not "listen" like her father did ( _"Oh, honey, they're just worrying about you. You_ are _our cute little girl after all." "Sure, love, you can, as soon as you find your knight in shining armor!"_ ) but actually _listen._

 _(And if they encouraged her independence and love for a rather..._ different _(gory)..._ _kind of_ _potion making... Well, she was all for it)_

"IhateherIhateherIhateherIhateher..." And thus, her twenty eighth diary was finished and added to the stack.

* * *

**  
**

Hermione was bullied at school. Sad, but true. It didn't matter; they were right, they had justice on their side. And the adults didn't do anything so they must have been good children.

She never retaliated.

She was studying the properties of gas when they showed the freed convict on TV. The police had let him go so he must have been innocent. Hermione knew to judge correctly; she wouldn't believe the convict guilty if he bombed the street before her eyes.

She was right in front of her father when they found said convict in their old storage in the garden.

Nobody knew that it was a dust explosion made by flour that took out the storage and the convict with it while her father called the police for a trespassing man.

Hermione was bullied. The adults would have stepped in if it had been injustice.

Her parents were perfect. They were much more perfect than the teachers, than the police, than her and than the convict. They couldn't be bullied as she was.

Nobody would threaten what was right on her watch.

**  
**

* * *

"Draco" was a pompous, spoiled idiot who couldn't live without his father's support and mother's love.

But of course, Draco was not "Draco". "Draco" was just a small inkling -of how he could easily live with his parents' support-, not even granted thought status in the Grande Parliament of the Dragone. (Named as such after a great(e) potions book.)

"Draco" had been assigned as Draco for the while that it had taken the Grande Parliament of the Dragone to make out a working statement of morals, beliefs, interests and other such personality traits.

( **"Should we believe that Muggles are worthless?"** _Of course, we should! They can't even use magic!"_ ** _"But they have this 'technology' thingy! That has to be something!"_** "Don't you see what happens to Blood Traitors?! We shouldn't even be contemplating this!"  _"You shut up, Instinct! You aren't even anything more than a compulsion for obeying the majority! Stay out of this!"_ **"Quiet! Maintain order!..."** )

Draco had kept "Draco" to avoid alarming his parents but it was fast becoming detrimental to his status in the world.

Hogwarts would be the perfect place to declare the independence of the Grande Parliament of the Dragone. ( **"Let us commence the signing of the thus agreed upon statement: _Independence From Single Personality Mind Expectations"_** )

  


* * *

Nargles danced around Luna up and down and up and down... As expected of the mischievous creatures she mused fondly; they had once again stolen her thoughts.

That must have been it. She certainly didn't have any Warckspurt infestations, that was for sure.

Come to think of it... She had to warn daddy... It was a bad case of Loser's Lurgy he was coming down with, he wouldn't get anything done correctly...

And all those wizards suffering from Shepherd's Herded would dare criticize him again.

Luna hummed a little, content and peaceful. It was _unfortunate_ that criticizing mystic phenomena attracted Dabberblimps...

 ...and that Dabberblimps attracted _unfortunate_ phenomena...

Luna blinked.

What had she been thinking about? She inspected her ears, no, no Warckspurt infestations. Then she noticed the mistletoe in her hair.

Ah, Nargles! How truly unruly!

  


* * *

  


Neville recognized both the great potential in Herbology and his almost unnatural talent for it.

1986, the Dryacula Green-Ivy was acknowledged as the first and only sentient plant native to Britain. It also had the before unseen in other sentient plants advantage of being both a salt-water and land plant.

Neville recognized the worth and magical power of souls in all magical existences.

1987, Lilia Praestrigiae, or the Ever-Watching Lily as Neville so affectionately called, were a never solved Herbology secret in all of Magical Britain. Their ghostly forms didn't even allow for physical examinations.

Neville recognized the useful points of dark rituals and magicks that were buried beneath heaps and heaps of gore and death.

1989, the sale and trade of the seeds of the Short-Stem British Grimm was restricted by the Ministry with the reasoning that said tree absorbed negative emotions, eventually leaving the wizard in a haze of peace and resulting in suicide.   

Neville recognized the certainty, necessity and finality of death.

1990\. Neville was the heir and last member of the Longbottom Family; Algernon and Enid had drowned dragged by an unidentified green tentacle, Alice and Frank were suddenly found dead without a cause and Augusta’s body was discovered, having presumably started drugs and gotten more and more peaceful by the day, with traces of suicide.

 


End file.
